Making Meditation a Habit: Practices that helped me finding inner peace
So, building a meditation habit to find more peace. I think it’s useful to start from the top regarding this topic from my personal point of view. And that starts around ten years ago…
I found myself stuck in negative thoughts loop. Mostly because I was stressing too much about how well I was doing compared to others. Basically, I became my own worst enemy, with a mind racing so fast that sleep became a rarity. To cut a long story short, I was burnt out.
After telling my manager that even getting out of bed was a struggle, he gave me the solid advice to listen to my body and act accordingly. Together, we realised I was burnt out, and I started seeing a psychologist.
From the first session, I could tell this guy was wise. One main thing that stuck with me is how he talked about how I developed my IQ, but in relationship to also my PQ, EQ, and SQ. He showed me a certain model and explained it like this:
IQ is your Intelligence Quotient
PQ is your Physical Quotient
EQ is your Emotional Quotient
and SQ is your Spiritual Quotient
This conversation got me thinking a lot. I had been focused so much on gaining intelligence and getting physically stronger. But I struggled with understanding and expressing my feelings, and I had barely given any thought to spirituality. This all felt weird, confusing, and honestly even a bit scary.
So, I figured, it was time to learn! Now, my first thoughts about spirituality were about yoga and meditation, and in line with my usual way of thinking, I decided to make a plan, stick to it, and gain some spirituality!
Life Examination
Despite my approach feeling a bit odd at first, I truly learned a lot! I found out that my thoughts caused me many problems. And how meditation appeared to be a great way to examine these thoughts. I have to say, nowadays I just love to go sit down by myself and let my mind run crazy. Listening to what it wants to tell me. And when I really listen, it helps me to resolve the unresolved.
Still, there are many, many ways to meditate and examine your thoughts. But basically, it comes down to spending time on your own while having all sorts of thoughts, and then ask yourself why you're having these thoughts.
Different Meditation practices
Over time I explored and experimented with a lot of different styles and, in the end, I found out that these two really do the trick for me…
1 - awareness blocks
I consider this the easiest one and a nice one to start with. I call it awareness blocks. It’s about being in the moment, without passing judgment as you go for a bike ride. But it also can be just a walk. The practice is all about embracing the present without categorising or evaluating. Instead of comparing my fitness levels with any other cyclist that I encounter, I simply just observe.
But it can also be this example where I see a guy riding in a jersey that’s two or even three sizes too large. My initial response might be to laugh and think, “what a joke!” But then I question myself why I’m using his situation to feel better about myself. Is it because I’m insecure about looking bad? In that way, I found out that about 90% of my thoughts are rooted in fear, with maybe the remaining 10% stemming from desire.
For me, there’s no doubt that this practice abstains you from judgments and embraces acceptance. If you carve in just a fifteen-minute block like this in every ride you make, your mindset leaves you feeling tranquil and appreciative. I tell you!
2 - just sit and close your eyes
Another technique I’ve picked up is about just sitting down and closing my eyes for at least 15 minutes each day. It’s about total surrender to the moment. Making absolutely no effort to change anything.
I just find a comfortable spot, sit down, and close my eyes. It’s like my personal break for 15 minutes. Just a few minutes where I don’t have to do anything.
If thoughts start to pop up, that’s all fine. I feel no need to resist them or to dive deeper into them. I just let them be. All I’m doing is sitting with my eyes shut, doing nothing. That’s not a hard thing to do, right? I mean, what can be so hard about giving yourself a break for 15 minutes?
I suggest starting meditating like this just for 15 minutes each morning. Just 15 minutes to give it a go. Try it for sixty days. You’ll likely grow tired of your mind’s noise and start to feel the urge to practice longer or twice a day like I do.
a great way to find inner peace
After all these hours of meditation, I started thinking about how we spend so much time in relationships with others, while the most important relationship we have is the one with ourselves. Or, more specifically, with this voice inside our heads. This voice that goes on and on every waking hour, acting as the unseen puppeteer of our thoughts and actions.
I’m absolutely sure that these internal dialogues construct the world we live in. That it’s the lens through which we perceive reality. This chatter inside our head, whether we realize it or not, largely determines the quality of our lives. If we wish to understand all of that, it necessitates a pause from distractions. And believe me! It’s really helpful to put down your coffee, your laptop, your phone, your headphones and just listen and feel!
“Meditation is intermittent fasting for the mind. Too much sugar leads to a heavy body, and too many distractions lead to a heavy mind. Time spent undistracted and alone, in self-examination, journaling, meditation, resolves the unresolved and takes us from mentally fat to fit.”
But here’s the thing. You will find out it’s incredibly uncomfortable to sit still. Why? Well, if you ask me I think it’s because of our unexamined mind which is this storm of unresolved thoughts. Provoking anxiety, fear, and discontentment. But know, this is not just you. We all struggle with all sorts of thoughts, glimpsing only the tip of an iceberg, unaware of the massive pile of unresolved issues lurking beneath.
And underneath the surface, all sorts of unexamined decisions, unresolved situations, and suppressed emotions cloud our minds. These elements act as barriers, blocking our path to contentment and self-understanding. The anxiety and unrest many of us experience are mere symptoms of this underlying problem. A life lived unexamined.
Meditation is self-examination
So, I won’t say that proper meditation and self-examination is easy. But if you go for it consistently, I tell you that any form will hugely impact your quality of life. And know that it can absolutely ruin the life you're currently living. But, if you’re unhappy, it also should!
It should make you spend more time with yourself. It should change the books you read. Change who your friends are. Change your eating pattern. Establish boundaries. It even should cause you to quit your job or leave relationships.
And if it doesn't do things like that, it isn't self-examination!
“An unexamined life is not worth living”